Whether you are moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, if they have kids, the move might not go as smoothly as you would like. Even, if they have liked you until this point, now you might be viewed as this monster invading their space and moving around their things. Moving can already be stressful, and if the process covers conflict with your significant other and their children, there could be a little tension between the two of you, as well. You should not expect everything to go smoothly, nor should you assume you will all instantly get along like one big happy family. However, these tips will help make the transaction as comfortable as possible.
Make Sure You Are Ready
It is important to make sure that this is not a spur of the moment decision. If it was just the two of you, then jumping in without much thought would only affect both of you. This decision will impact children though, and for this reason it is very important that you are both sure. There is nothing worse than moving in and finally earning the acceptance of the children only to turn around and move out when things don’t work out, leaving a void in their life. Make sure you are ready.
Talk to the Children
Do not wait until a few days before the scheduled move date to spring the news on the children. Ideally, you will give them time to come to terms with the idea. Maybe they will be more comfortable with the idea, if they can somehow be involved. Perhaps they can help clear away storage space in the garage or maybe you can steal them to help you pack for a bit, so you can spend a little alone time together. Children like to feel as though they have a voice in a household, so listen when they tell you how they feel about the decision, whether you like what they are saying, or not.
Decide What to Take
In a perfect world, your significant other will have a sprawling finished basement that all of your stuff can nicely fit into to create a finished space for the kids. However, it is unlikely this is the case. If you have a specific piece of furniture or art you are really attached to, make sure they know you will be bringing it with you. You could always put everything in a storage unit until you know what to do with it. The two of you could end up purchasing a larger house in the near future and that extra furniture and television could come in handy. Maybe someone you know is getting their first apartment and they would like to buy everything off you. Just make sure you choose a climate-controlled storage unit.
Squeezing your life into an established space can be stressful enough without having to deal with the exhaustion that comes along with hauling everything. You will be more likely to lose your temper or become aggravated when you are tired and sore from the move. Plus, the kids will not be too happy, if dad hurts his back carrying your stuff, and has to cancel their camping trip.
Establish Ground Rules
Maybe the kids are used to jumping out of bed and making a ton of noise Saturday morning, but if this is your one morning to sleep a few extra hours then rules may be necessary. Perhaps they will have to use the television downstairs before you wake up. Maybe they need to be told to knock at the bedroom door, if it is closed. No one can know what is expected of them, if rules are not established.
There is bound to be a period of adaption. They might not think they have to listen to you, if you ask them to do their homework after school or clear the junk off the kitchen table. There is also a good chance that they will test you and try to push their buttons. Though trying, this period will not last forever. Everyone may need to compromise a little more than previously expected.
However, the adjustment period will likely be smoother and shorter, if you remember to have fun. You can all do things together, but you and your significant other should have the opportunity to have alone time with the children, too.